What’s going through your head when the one person, your boyfriend or girlfriend that you thought cared most about you suddenly dumps you?

There are a couple of things that you might do… If you have a dominant personality, you might fight back and say, “No you can’t do that,” only to see your boyfriend or girlfriend walk away. If you have a more reserved personality, you might try to act cool with it, “It’s okay. Do what you need to do, I don’t need you either” only to find out that in reality, you are hurting pretty badly inside. Finally, if you have a more sensitive type of personality, you might just head over to the nearest Rite Aid and buy ten boxes of Kleenex.

In all of these examples, we react differently to getting dumped. After the damage is done though, we still want our ex’s back! The problem is that even though we know we could if we really wanted to, something still stops us…

Below is a list of reasons of why we don’t go and pursue our ex’s after they have broken up with us.

1) Scared of Rejection

No one likes to get dumped once, but getting dumped twice is just a big, gigantic “no-no.” There’s always a fear that involves walking up to a person and asking them if they could just to “think things through” only to hear them say “sorry” again. Rejection can sting and be painful to people who don’t have tough skin. Due to rejection, many people don’t try to resolve the problem with their ex’s and never end up getting them back.

2) Scared of Getting Hurt

Getting hurt emotionally is a very common reason why people run away from their problems instead of sticking to them. It not only affects one person’s feelings, but it can effect everything around them like not getting enough sleep, more stress, not talking to friends, studying less, etc. As a result of this, we get more hurt for not trying instead and wonder for many days, “What would happen if I actually did attempt to get my ex back?”

3) Loss of Dignity

It is common to feel a loss of dignity already when your ex breaks up with you, and to and crawl back to them to resolve the issue could put your dignity at stake; even though I would argue that doing so means you are so comfortable with yourself that you don’t care, making you courageous and admirable. But still, many people don’t go after what they want because their afraid to lose their dignity and would rather keep what they have already. This type of thinking is a sure way of not getting an ex back.

4) Afraid of the Unknown

Have you… Wait… I’m pretty sure you have thought of approaching a girl or guy in public to ask them out? Do you remember what that feeling was like? It was probably SCARY. Most of the times, you probably just left saying that you’ll do it later. Well, the fact that there could have been a million and one things that could of happened, you felt uncomfortable of not knowing what was going to happen so you decided to take the safe route and not doing anything. Being afraid of the “unknown” and resolving the issues with your ex “later” is exactly the same thing.

5) Not Knowing What To

This is the most basic one of these five reasons - you simply have no idea what to do. How do you even go about pursuing your ex. They mean a lot to you and you know if you put enough effort into it, you can get your ex back. But the question is how? Do you walk up and say your sorry? Do you give it some time then start easing your way to sweet talking to them? Do you start dating someone else to make your ex jealous and want to be back with you again?

These five ways are always main concerns when we think about how we are going to get our ex’s back. It’s normal to have these fears in us but it doesn’t have to be that way. Thousands of people successfully have gotten their ex’s back through doing the right things and not making the wrong mistakes. If you can block out these five things that are stopping you from getting your ex back and start doing the right things, getting your ex back is a very doable task.